It was my 50th birthday yesterday! It was a day filled with love, fun and constant reminders of the amazing people I have surrounding me.
I am going to rock this next decade. Here's why:
1. This has been my year to fully embrace vulnerability and truth. Every time I write on this blog, I get a little more comfortable telling my story. I get a little more okay with the fact that I am most definitely not perfect. I am learning that my story defines who I am. And I am proud of who I am becoming. That I am willing to share that with whoever shows up on our (blog) doorstep means I am comfortable with myself and my choices. And that, my friends, will take you all the way home.
2. My relationship with Megan is stronger because we openly talk about what she needs on her mental health journey and I can respond, not as someone with all the answers, but as someone who loves her and is empathetic to her struggle. Together she and I have shone a light on shame and smashed it to the ground. And we are helping others who want to walk that path with us. It feels really good. Like my purpose is becoming clear.
2. I can't say I no longer care what others think - I don't think any human being ever gets there. What I can say is I've learned to take the time to careful weigh others opinions. An unkind word or a judgement of my parenting no longer sends me running to shame or covering up with a storm of details about how I am managing. Now, I stay silent until I am ready to speak my own truth. And sometimes I just choose not to speak. It is powerful and liberating.
3. I've been down in the depths of despair and I learned to get up again. I fell hard last year - emotionally, spiritually and physically. I probably ate a pound of dirt while I was down in the pit of despair. But you know what? I spit it out, wiped off my face, got myself to therapy, worked HARD to make positive changes in my life and I climbed back up. Shoot, throw anything at me this decade. I got it. And if I don't, I know where to go for help. And I'm most definitely not afraid to ask anymore.
4. Finally...most importantly...I have surrounded myself with the very best women. And when I say best, I mean these women have been through some shit. They don't walk around pretending its all wine and roses. These women have stories and they own them. When I am down, they don't hesitate to say "I've fallen too. Here's is what I learned and I'm right here for you. I get it and I will stand by you no matter what." I love them more than I could accurately express to them.
So here is my manifesto for the rest of my days. Feel free to hold me to this! Bring on decade number 6!
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!