Please Tell Us. Please.

Sorry for the long absence.Let’s call it a blog vacation – that included two very big work events and a big high school graduation for my son.It’s been a busy month and while it was all wonderful, stressful, busy and happy, I don’t think there has been a spare minute in my body or brain in the past few weeks.But I’m back with a blog post that has been swirling around in my head for at least a month.

It started with an article I read on The Mighty about depression.The writer so eloquently described how she masked what was going on in her head because she didn’t want her family to worry and she didn’t want to be a source of pain for them.And I wanted to reach through my computer screen, hold her hand and tell her these things:

  1. We want to be there to support you and we can’t if you don’t tell us. We really, really want to be there for you in a real way. We really, really want you to tell us when you need help.

  2. Even though the above is true, we might not respond well at first. We will see it through our own worry and fears at first. Maybe through the perceptions of our experiences with mental health in our own lives.

  3. Please know that this is not about you or your depression. Just like your depression isn’t caused by anything you did, our inability to give you what you need at first is our issue to get through.

  4. We will get through it. Because we want you to tell us when you need our support.

  5. Finally, this may come as a surprise to you. Even though you are hiding, and we are trying hard not to see it, we already know. We’ve seen you start cancelling plans, we’ve seen your eyes staring at nothing when you don’t think we are looking. We recognize the flat tone of your voice when you talk about things that used to interest you.

We already know. Take my hand. Let’s get started helping you find your way out of the dark.


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